The Divinity and Her Servants

The moment I saw her, I liked her. For the first minute we were together, I loved her with all my heart, and for the rest of it, my heart loved her even more. Each passing minute only deepened that affection, as if my heart couldn’t contain the growing adoration for the beauty that had been bestowed upon me. I was an atheist, yet my heart thanked God.

The light was dim, and I could only see her golden ethereal face as I kept staring at her. She was my shelter. Symphony №9 was playing on her phonograph. I am fond of Beethoven and other classics, but not as much as I was fond of her at that moment. Her bed was well-made, serene, and soft. I was sitting on it when she brought two glasses of wine. I was taking a sip while she closed the door behind her.

I looked at my wristwatch when she whispered my name. I lost consciousness, as if I had never heard it before. There were no more dreams, no more desires — only the thirst to hear my name again from her mouth. I paused, like a deer drinking water from a river, and breathed again. She moved slowly towards me, like a lioness hunting a deer for her midnight meal. I surrendered to her and broke free from my shackles.

I felt trusted by her words and secured in her arms. I wanted to fit into her like the last piece fits into an almost complete puzzle. Have you ever looked at something with such utmost focus that you forgot about your world, yourself, and all the people that were part of your existence? I knew the answer then. I kept staring at her.

I didn’t know how much of a lover I was, but she made me feel like I was the one — the one person on this planet who was made for her, the only person alive on this planet who could make love to her. I felt unique when I was in her embrace. My body trembled when she touched me, and my soul quivered when her lips pecked my forehead.

The heartbeats — I listened to them so clearly after so long that it felt like I was hearing them for the first time. The rhythm was more melodious than any other music I had ever heard in my life. It was more hypnotizing than the siren’s call. It was as if Mother Nature herself cradled me.

Her nibbles on my ear put me in a trance that felt like lying on God’s lap. I lost track of time. I had goosebumps, shivers down my spine whenever she breathed. I died a thousand deaths when she looked at me with her cat-like eyes, and I was reborn a thousand times with each radiant smile that graced her lips.

This could not be true. A single-celled organism, some fish, and a random monkey — how can this human before me be the product of mere chance? I didn’t believe in science anymore; I believed in God and his magic. This beauty was not the result of some random evolution; it was made with his own hands, chiseled with utmost care in every corner. Every line, every smoothness, every symmetry was in perfect proportion, refined to the brim. I saw divinity. Her moon-like face and her sun-like glow — such utmost perfection could only be the result of tireless and non-stop hard work.

The delicate tendrils of her fragrance gently flirted with my nose, an alluring tease that stirred my longing. I wanted to make her mine, but she belonged to no one. Her earthy fragrance was like the renewed smell of soil after the first rain. I relived my childhood in her essence — simpler times, innocence, and happiness came flooding back to me. A whole orchestra of emotions, once lost, now played a rhythm inside my consciousness. I closed my eyes and became a child in front of her.

I was near her, very close. I could feel my own breath returning to me after colliding with her tender neck. I drowned in her collarbones, my gaze fixated upon her slender skin, and I lost myself. In this vast, infinite universe, I got lost on her bones. Or perhaps, I got found; my long-lost incompleteness discovered solace at her neck. My entire life, summing up to this moment, felt complete on her single bone. I was this much insignificant. And she meant this much more to me.

She was wearing a cute pink frock. I didn’t know how to slow dance, but she guided me. She placed my right arm below her armpit, supporting her back, and her left arm rested on my shoulder. Our free hands held each other. We started moving slowly, step-by-step, turning and rotating around each other. I felt like a blooming flower, vulnerable and exposed, basking in her warmth. We danced, we were intimate, happy, and smiling. I cherished every moment.

I glanced at my wristwatch; it was almost time. The music changed to the 5th Symphony in C minor. I liked it, but she didn’t. She wanted to let go and change the vinyl, but I held her firmly, tightening my grip on her back. We looked into each other’s eyes. In hers, I saw innocence and naivety, and perhaps she saw the deviousness in mine and a grin on my face. She tried to resist, but I held her firmly. Her head began to twitch, and she couldn’t control her arms on my shoulder any longer. Her whole body started to jerk, and her back arched. Strychnine was at work. Her legs grew weak, and she couldn’t stand anymore; her eyes closed slowly. I felt her weight increase in my hands as she fell. When she passed out completely, I laid her gently on her bed. Lacing her drink worked beautifully, I thought, more beautifully than her pink frock, this dance, and her pretty face. I couldn’t quite explain how I felt, but I wished I could match your red gown with my black tuxedo when the marimba rhythms start to play. She started crying when I said this to her. I wished we could truly fall in love and build something more beautiful, but alas, it was my fate, and this was hers.

Now, everything needs to be cleaned. Every touch, every strand of hair, and every sign of my presence had to vanish. Everything needed to be gone. I needed to inform them. And it was time for me to get away, far away from here. I can finally go home.